Feeling a Loved One's Presence

When our loved ones pass away, it takes time to get over our grief and during those times we would have this longing to be with them and talk to them again.  This particular need was very evident from the face of a woman who came with a relative to see  the Angel Ladies at my favorite restaurant.  The latter ladies are mediums who used to occupy an office at the third floor of this restaurant. When I asked the woman if she had lost a loved one recently, she said yes with sadness in her voice as well as her eyes.  The relative with her had seen the mediums and believed in them. The hope for the same experience was painted all over the face of this woman as she talked to me.

I have lost many close friends, Lena, Kathy and Emma, these past three years or so.  Every time I pass the streets where they lived I would have this sinking feeling in my stomach and gnawing pain and sadness in my heart.  We have shared many things together as associates of the Sisters of St. Joseph.  We supported each other and just loved being in each others' presence. I particularly miss talking to them.

 No I never sought the mediums. However, I do now and then sometimes impart meaning and significance to certain events that give me the hope that they somehow are expressing their hello to me from the other side.  

This past weekend, I attended the yearly Sisters of St. Joseph Baden Auxiliary luncheon which was held this year at the Sheraton Hotel in Mars, PA and was attended by 500 people.  Among the multitude of people in the middle of the long lobby where they were selling baked goods, I saw a friend, Mary Anne, from some group I belong to or activity I attend but I could not place her right away. She approached me and said we attend the same Line Dancing Class at a gym. When I asked her how she knew about the affair, I was pleasantly surprised that she did through an associate of the Sisters of St. Joseph, my late friend Kathy. Kathy, she and a host of her other friends with her were from the same pediatric department. When I heard this, something in me immediately put some significance to this. Could Kathy be giving a sign to me, namely that she misses me and the other associates too as we miss her? I was trying to explain to Mary Ann about what our meeting meant to me but I could not.  I was too overjoyed I was breaking into tears. 

Anyway whether what I perceived the significance about this meeting was real does not matter to me.  For that moment during the chance meeting, I have felt my friend, Kathy's presence, and it made me happy. I know that is what she wanted and I get the message.

Slow Cooker Brown Sugar Balsamic Bone-in Pork Loin Roast

I adapted this easy delicious pork dish from the most popular recipe in the Food52 website. One comment described it as fusion adobo, a popular Filipino dish since it does have its characteristic ingredients, garlic, soy sauce and vinegar. This recipe however has brown sugar and sage not found in adobo.

Food52 used pork tenderloin when it first published the recipe and then switched to pork shoulder in a later version. Both were boneless cuts of pork. In this adaptation I used bone-in pork loin roast which luckily fitted the Aroma Brand rice cooker/s!ow cooker I used. I decreased the water to half cup rather than the one cup the recipe called for and also added carrots and potatoes. I also just dumped all the ingredients in one step.

My picky taster, my husband, gave this two thumbs up. My friend, Claire , who is recovering from surgery and with whom I shared this dish , texted me that it made for a great dinner.

Slow Cooker Brown Sugar Balsamic Bone-in Pork Loin Roast

Adapted from this recipe

• 4 garlic cloves, minced 
• 2 tsp ground sage 
• 2 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp black pepper 
• 4 bay leaves 
• 1/2 cup water 
• 1 cup brown sugar 
• 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar 
• 1/4 cup soy sauce 
• 2 tbsp yellow mustard 
• 2 tbsp cornstarch 
• 5 lbs bone in pork loin roast 
• 2 cups baby carrots 
• 4 potatoes, peeled and cubed 

Add all the ingredients in the slow cooker in the order shown. Cook on high for  six hours. I cooked mine in an Aroma Brand rice cooker/slow cooker for 5 hours at slow cooker setting.

Serve over rice.

Note: You can refrigerate the dish for a few hours or overnight and remove the fat if you like and reheat.

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Luca's Cuteisms

Nothing brings a smile to my face than memories of my grandchildren at their cute stage. What they say and do are worth keeping a journal of.  I have written about Maddie when she was between age 2 and 4 and reading them warms my heart.  I want to continue the same with her younger brother Luca who is now 3 years and 2 months old.

I took care of Maddie, now five,  once a week when she turned two until she was ready for kindergarten.  When it was time for me to do the same with Luca in September of last year, I expressed my fears to his Mom.  I never have taken cared of a boy before having had two daughters and no son.  Wendy, Luca's mom, reassured me it will be no problem.  It was actually smooth sailing.

There are similarities and differences between the two siblings. Just like Maddie cannot sleep without her plush toy, Puppie, Luca cannot sleep without his Amen, his cuddly one.  He also brings it everywhere just like Maddie does with her Puppie.  Whereas Maddie loves to play with dolls, Luca favors cars. I actually do not see the fun in moving those toy cars back and forth on the table at all but Luca does this with a lot of intensity and joy. He loves bringing them everywhere. Now and then I would find one or two in my hand bag.

Luca went through a phase before he turned three of saying the word NO rather emphatically. No. No. No. Thank goodness he is over that. One word he still says repeatedly ad nauseam is WHY which is followed by another why and another.  He gives my aging mind a lot of exercise. I for one do not want to tell him tall tale of a reason but I have been tempted because of exasperation.

He goes through phases. We are all relieved that "His dread over going to daycare" is over.  He went through that stage for several weeks and has just stopped crying when he is dropped off.

Overall he loves food. He has not reached the picky stage yet. After storytelling at the Monroeville Library, our favorite jaunt is McDonalds where we meet his Aunt B for lunch.  There he relishes his chicken nuggets and fries. It is no surprise he learned the letter M early before he was three since he loves the place. He loves to play being a McDonald sales person when we go to the yellow playground where there is a sort of store.  When he charges me for my order he loves to use the number 8 for every thing. I really do not know how this love for this number originated.  Ask him how many things there are and his answer is 8.

When I think he does not listen to what I say, he has surprised me many a time with phrases he has repeated after hearing them from me. One time he said something to me that hurt my feelings.  I actually repeated what hurtful thing he said and explained to him how it broke my heart.  Ever since that time he uses that phrase "you broke my heart" every time his feelings are hurt.  One time he even told his Dada, who looked sad that his heart must be broken.

One time I mentioned to him that my back hurt every time I picked him up and put him in his car seat.  I also told him I wish he could go up the car and into the car seat by himself.  I was very touched the following week when he tried his best to climb up the car and even get into his car seat. He has done so ever since even proudly saying "I am now a big boy".

Out of the blue yesterday morning when I was at their house, he said, "I like being with you, Lola".  I said something similar to him and Maddie at the end of their overnight stay at our house this past weekend and he must have liked the phrase.

There are other things he utters that I think comes from his own heart. The one thing that always melts my heart is when I say I love you to him and he says back tenderly and softly, "I love you too".  I am over the moon every time.

I know there will be more memories to encapsulate in the future but these are  more than enough for now to draw from when I need a smile on my face and warmth in my heart.

Slow Cooker Curry Cauliflower Chili with Sriracha

This is adapted from a fusion recipe from the newly revived 30 Minute Meals Show hosted by the talented Rachael Ray.  As she mentioned in the show, curry and chili dishes share many ingredients like chili, cumin and coriander thus fusing them makes sense.  Instead of using chicken, I utilized the versatile vegetable, cauliflower, in its place.  For the garam masala, I used cardamom and cinnamon powder, two of the components of the spice mixture.  Aside from the chickpeas, I added 1/4 cup of yellow split peas to increase the protein content of the dish. I decided to use the dump and forget it approach via a slow cooker. The result is an easy to prepare comforting, hearty stew with crunch and full of flavor.  My picky taster, my husband, devoured it and so did I.

Slow Cooker Curry Cauliflower Chili with Sriracha

Adapted from this recipe

Stew

• 1/2 head of cauliflower including stem and core, cut into bite size pieces
• 1-14 oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
• 1/4 cup yellow split peas
• 5 garlic cloves, minced
• 2 tbsp ginger, minced
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1-14 oz can stewed tomatoes
• 1-8 oz can tomato sauce
• 1 1/2 cups vegetable broth
• 3 jalapeno pieces from a jar
• 1/2 tbsp cumin powder
• 1.2 tbsp coriander powder
• 1/2 tbsp chili powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp black pepper
• 1/4 tsp cardamon
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon powder
• 1/2 tbsp sriracha

Garnish

• lime slices
• cilantro, chopped
• green onions, slices
• more jalapeno slices
• naan bread 
• rice

Combine all the ingredients of the stew in the slow cooker.  Cook at high setting for 3 hours or at low for 6 hours. I cooked mine in the Aroma Brand rice cooker/slow cooker for 2 hours at slow cooker setting.

Serve the stew with lime slices, cilantro, green onions and more jalapeno slices. You can serve it with naan bread or over rice.