Disagreements

 

1. PRAYER

"Lord, grant me the serenity to pause when tensions rise.
Give me a humble heart that listens more than it speaks.
Help me to see the person in front of me as You see them—valued and loved.
Guard my words so they are seasoned with grace rather than malice.
When we disagree, keep our focus on understanding rather than winning, and anchor us in Your peace."

2.  MEDITATION

https://youtu.be/hwi2c0fkB2E?si=YHnT7YbBBv7X3_Ox

3.  SONG

https://youtu.be/n8vxLHDDeI0?si=4UoO76yUpml2CLLU

4.    NARRATIVE

Richard Rohr views disagreement as a crucial catalyst for spiritual growth, arguing that true transformation only occurs when we struggle with our own internal and external contradictions. Through his teachings at the Center for Action and Contemplation, Rohr emphasizes that disagreement becomes destructive when handled by the "dualistic mind," which seeks only to win, divide, and prove it is correct. [1, 2, 3, 4]

Instead, he advocates for a "Third Way"—a nondualistic approach rooted in contemplative prayer that moves beyond fight-or-flight dynamics to hold the tension of paradox. [1, 2]

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1. Dualistic vs. Nondualistic Disagreement

Rohr separates responses to disagreement into two primary categories: [1]

The Dualistic Mind (Ego-driven): The ego fiercely avoids being wrong. In disagreement, the dualistic mind splits the world into "total good guys and complete bad guys," oversimplifying complex situations into black-and-white certainties. It prioritizes being correct over being connected. [1, 2, 3]
The Nondualistic Mind (Spirit-driven): A mature spiritual perspective is comfortable with mystery and paradox. It allows a person to sit in the uncomfortable space of disagreement without the immediate need to judge, erase, or defeat the opponent. [1, 2]

2. Prioritizing Relationship Over Rightness

Rohr warns that one of the most destructive habits of modern faith and politics is prioritizing shared belief systems over actual relationships. In his view, Jesus did not build a rigid purity culture; he regularly ate with people who held different behaviors and beliefs. Rohr challenges individuals to fast from absolute certainty and the compulsion to constantly point out how everyone else is wrong. [1, 2]

3. The Path: From Anger to Sadness to Solidarity

When we face opposing views or painful circumstances, our immediate ego defense mechanism is often outrage or anger. Rohr observes that true conflict resolution happens when we allow our defensive anger to drop down into its deeper root: sadness. By experiencing the shared grief or limitation of a situation, we stop standing against the other person and begin standing with them to find healing. [1, 2]

4. Critiques of Rohr's View on Disagreement

While Rohr advocates for inclusivity and non-defensiveness, mainstream critics point out a paradox in his own approach: [1]

The "Spiritual Maturity" Trap: Some theologians and critics, such as Alisa Childers, argue that Rohr dismisses orthodox or traditional Christian viewpoints by labeling them as "spiritually immature" or "dualistic". Critics contend that this framing subtly shuts down meaningful theological disagreement by characterizing the opposing side as simply lacking spiritual development. [1]

The Third Way: A Transformative Dance

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

The Third Way
Tuesday, June 28, 2016

As I explore transformation as a process of letting go of the ego’s needs and accomplishments, you may think I’m overemphasizing detachment. But when you look at Jesus on the cross, you see that Christianity also fosters attachment. Jesus tells us to love and to pay the price for loving. The heart and the soul are the first to attach to things and fall in love. Look at the image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. His heart is out in front of his chest. It may not be great art, but it is great theology. The heart is given, and the price is paid. When we attach, when we fall in love, we risk pain and we will always suffer for it. The cross is not the price that Jesus had to pay to convince God to love us. It is simply where love will lead us.

Jesus names the agenda: If we love, if we give ourselves to feel the pain of the world, it will crucify us. (This understanding of the crucifixion is much better than thinking of Jesus as paying some debt to an alienated God who needs to be appeased into loving us.) We may prefer to remain aloof and detached, but that’s not the Christian way. The Christian way is to risk the attachments of love—and then keep growing in what it actually means to love. 

As we start trying to love, we begin to realize that we’re actually not loving very well. We are mostly meeting our own needs. The word for this is “codependency.” This kind of love is still impure and self-seeking and thus is not really love at all. So we have to pull back and learn the great art of detachment, which is not aloofness, but the purifying of attachment. Our religion is neither solely detachment nor solely attachment; it’s a dance between the two. It’s neither entirely isolation, as symbolized by the desert, nor is it complete engagement, as symbolized by the city. Jesus moves back and forth between desert and city. In the city, he feels himself losing perspective, love, and center; so Jesus goes out to the desert to discover the real again. And when Jesus is in the desert, his passionate union with the Father drives him back to the pain of the city.

The transformative dance between attachment and detachment is sometimes called the Third Way. It is the middle way between fight and flight, as Walter Wink describes it. [1] Some prefer to take on the world: to fight it, to change it, fix it, and rearrange it. Others deny there is a problem at all; it suits their needs as it is. “Everything is beautiful,” they say and look the other way. Both instincts avoid holding the tension, the pain, and the essentially tragic nature of human existence.

The contemplative stance is the Third Way. We stand in the middle, neither taking the world on from another power position nor denying it for fear of the pain it will bring. We hold the dark side of reality and the pain of the world until it transforms us, knowing that we are both complicit in the evil and can participate in wholeness and holiness. Once we can stand in that third spacious way, neither directly fighting nor denying and fleeing, we are in the place of grace out of which genuine newness can come. This is where creativity and new forms of life and healing emerge.

Gateway to Silence:
Teach me how to see.

References:
[1] See Walter Wink, Jesus and Nonviolence: A Third Way (Fortress Press: 2003).

Adapted from Richard Rohr, Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer (The Crossroad Publishing Company: 1999), 169-171.

5.  MEDITATION

https://youtu.be/LYgZIdmmmTg?si=-D9x43gOgTHp7ASV

6.  SHARING

7. PRAYER AND INTENTIONS

O Gracious and Loving Father, as I stand at the crossroads of conflict, my heart feels heavy, my spirit burdened. Arguments have clouded my thoughts, creating rifts, and erecting walls between loved ones and me. 

Lord, I seek Your guidance to navigate these turbulent waters. Let Your wisdom be my compass, guiding me towards understanding and reconciliation.

Differences have a way of magnifying misunderstandings, but I trust in Your ability to bridge the divides. Heal the wounds of harsh words, and soothe the stings of misinterpretations. Allow Your love to flow through the crevices of resentment, and let Your light illuminate the path to resolution and harmony.

8.  SONG

https://youtu.be/KFC7HL79Go8?si=GMFYJmIP9-HWw2Rf

Black Bean Brownie Bites with Raisins

 

One would not taste the black beans.  Dark chocolate is what its fans loved  and it being not too sweet . My picky taster, my husband Bob, loved it , and so did the members of the International Women’s Club I belong to.  Who knew? BTW  I haven’t told Bob it has black beans  ha, ha, ha  

Black Bean Brownie Bites with Raisins 

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INGREDIENTS

Based on this site. 

• 1 can black beans, drained and rinsed 
• 1/2 cup oatmeal
• 12 pitted dates (previously soaked)
• 1/3 cup cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 tablespoons stevia or any other sweetener 
• 1/4 cup raisins soaked in 2 tablespoons rum 

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Make sure you’ve rinsed and thoroughly drained your black beans.
2. Add all the ingredients except the raisins.into your food processor or blender and puree scraping down sides as needed. You want it pretty smooth.
3. If the batter appears too thick, add 2 Tbsp water and pulse again. It should be slightly thick like cookie dough.  If too thin, add more oatmeal and blend. 
4. To the mixture, add the raisins and rum. 
5. Using a small ice cream scoop, fill it half full or fully, then form into balls and roll into cocoa powder. 

My Notes

I microwaved pitless dates in some water in microwave about 1 minute.

I used rolled oats  

I used my blender  

I added stevia, about two tbsp  since my dates were not that sweet  

I added 1/4 cup raisins that had been soaked in rum and added whole thing to mixture. You can skip adding them or use other add ins  

I added about two tbsp more whole oats

Where is God

 1.  PRAYER

Holy God,
I come to you today because I want to know you.
My heart is searching for truth, for peace, and for real purpose.
Please forgive my mistakes and clear away any doubts in my mind.
Open my eyes to see your presence all around me—in my life, in nature, and in the people I meet.
Guide my steps and draw my heart close to yours.
Reveal yourself to me today.
In Jesus’ name, Amen

2.  MEDITATION

https://youtu.be/syx3a1_LeFo?si=w0HZihA_jKIcW4Og

3. SONG

https://youtu.be/Lzl8-_4qzyk

4.  NARRATIVE

Father Richard Rohr teaches that an encounter with God happens in the ordinary, concrete present moment rather than in a distant, separate realm. [1, 2]

Key Beliefs on Encountering God

God is Here Now: Rohr states that God is not "out there," but hidden within the physical, material world and everyday human life. [1, 2]
The Ordinary as Revelation: According to the Center for Action and Contemplation, God's revelations are specific and found in daily history, meaning true spirituality is about becoming fully human. [1]
The Universal Christ: Rohr teaches that the divine presence indwells all creation and all people, making the physical world a place to fall in love with God. [1, 2]
The Role of Silence: Deep contemplative silence allows individuals to move past ego and analytical thinking to experience the foundational presence of the divine. [1]
Evidence of the Encounter: Rohr notes on X (formerly Twitter) that the true test of an encounter with God is how compassionately you interact with the world around you. [1]

Where Is God?
Friday, January 5, 2018

When I was on retreat at Thomas Merton’s hermitage at Gethsemani Abbey in 1985, I had a chance encounter that has stayed with me all these years. I was walking down a little trail when I recognized a recluse, what you might call a hermit’s hermit, coming toward me. Not wanting to intrude on his deep silence, I bowed my head and moved to the side of the path, intending to walk past him. But as we neared each other, he said, “Richard!” That surprised me. He was supposed to be silent. How did he know who I was? “Richard, you get chances to preach and I don’t. Tell the people one thing.” Pointing to the sky, he said, “God is not ‘out there’!” Then he said, “God bless you,” and abruptly continued down the path.

The belief that God is “out there” is the basic dualism that is tearing us all apart. Our view of God as separate and distant has harmed our relationships with sexuality, food, possessions, money, animals, nature, politics, and our own incarnate selves. This loss explains why we live such distraught and divided lives. Jesus came to put it all together for us and in us. He was saying, in effect, “To be human is good! The material and the physical can be trusted and enjoyed. This physical world is the hiding place of God and the revelation place of God!”

Far too much of religion has been about defining where God is and where God isn’t, picking and choosing who and what has God’s image and who and what doesn’t. In reality, it’s not up to us. We have no choice in the matter. All are beloved. Everyone—Catholic and Protestant, Christian and Muslim, black and white, gay and straight, able-bodied and disabled, male and female, Republican and Democrat—all are children of God. We are all members of the Body of Christ, made in God’s image, indwelled by the Holy Spirit, whether or not we are aware of this gift.

Can you see the image of Christ in the least of your brothers and sisters? This is Jesus’ only description of the final judgment (Matthew 25). But some say, “They smell. They’re a nuisance. They’re on welfare. They are a drain on our tax money.” Can we see Christ in all people, even the so-called “nobodies” who can’t or won’t play our game of success? When we can see the image of God where we don’t want to see the image of God, then we see with eyes not our own.

Jesus says we have to love and recognize the divine image even in our enemies. Either we see the divine image in all created things, or we don’t see it at all. Once we see God’s image in one place, the circle keeps widening. It doesn’t stop with human beings and enemies and the least of our brothers and sisters. It moves to frogs and pansies and weeds. Everything becomes enchanting with true sight. We cannot not live in the presence of God. We are totally surrounded and infused by God. All we can do is allow, trust, and finally rest in it, which is indeed why we are “saved” by faith—faith that this could be true.

Gateway to Presence:
If you want to go deeper with today’s meditation, take note of what word or phrase stands out to you. Come back to that word or phrase throughout the day, being present to its impact and invitation.

References:
Adapted from Richard Rohr, “Creation as the Body of God,” Spiritual Ecology: The Cry of the Earth, ed. Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee (The Golden Sufi Center: 2013), 235-241; and
Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer (The Crossroad Publishing Company: 2003), 58-59, 117-119.

5.  MEDITATION

https://youtu.be/RNeLU-5yR04?si=dmmdmdA3ppEmxuC1

6.  SHARING

7.  PRAYER AND INTENTIONS

A Prayer for Finding God in All Things

Walk with me, Creator, in the cool of today. Point out to me those things you’ve made for my pleasure and my nourishment. Show me the people you are inviting me to know, to care for, and to defend. Draw my attention to the subtle hints of your beauty, your glory, and your power. As I wander, fill me with wonder and worship at your presence. Amen.

8. SONG

https://youtu.be/gWz4feHp0ko