The Power of Self Talk

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 "Language can change the perspective a person has about many things. Turning something negative into a positive statement can do wonders to help people ‘see’ things differently".Lisa Martin, 


Our beliefs both positive and negative ones are shaped by our past experiences and what we hear from people around us starting from our childhood.  This collection of stimuli are piled in our mind which then processes them into what constitute our reaction to what we see, hear or feel.  The reaction could be fear, joy, laughter, or anger.  

Our minds usually talk in words that are not articulated aloud but they definitely are there shaping how we react to things. When I realized how important language was in changing how I view a situation, self talk or words I say to myself had been my weapon to counteract my fear and anger. When I backtrack and put the time to change the words I am saying to myself to something more positive I had often successfully change my irrational beliefs resulting in a more realistic view of seeing things and ultimately into more positive action.

I saw the power of self talk when I helped my granddaughter, Maddie, overcome her fear of the scarecrows in our yard.  She usually walks to our front door once I get her off her car seat in my car but one day she clung to me as I was putting her down beside the car.  She saw the two scarecrows in our yard and was terrified of them.  Once inside the house, I decided to apply the self talk approach on her and told her that: 1) the scarecrows were not real;   2) they would not harm her;  and  3) they were just like her dollies (in fact she started calling them dollies for awhile).  She adorably repeated these three affirmations to herself the whole day that was so heartwarming and cute.  It took the whole day for the statements to sink in but they did.  During the last trip to the car that day, I saw her triumphantly overcome her fear and walk out of the front door to the car while repeating to herself those three sentences. I was so, so proud of her.

Here are pictures of Maddie saying hello to the scarecrows days later.  

Next time I see dogs, which I have a fear of, in our neighborhood or elsewhere, I will try using self talk.  People had been always commenting to me that they will not bite or harm me but the thing is I just hear these assurances from them not from myself.  Perhaps I should do what Maddie did and repeatedly say them to myself.  We shall see.