“[Schulz] came to see that the better part of his shyness was really vanity, or self-centeredness. "Shyness is an illusion," he would say, late in life. "If you get out and do something and talk to people, you don't have to be shy. Shyness is the overtly self-conscious thinking that you are the only person in the world; that how you look and what you do is of any importance.”
― David Michaelis, Schulz and Peanuts: A Biography
I can identify with both quotes. I can be very shy and people would not believe it since I am extroverted. But I had and still have bouts of shyness even now.
When I was in my teens I used to have anxiety attacks when my parents threw big parties at our house. I hid upstairs in my room and even went hungry just to avoid being seen by the guests. I was so afraid they would make fun of how I look.
Well today I had an anxiety headache trying to decide whether to go to a gathering held during lunch time. I knew some of the people that would be there but still I had this nervousness about going. I felt they would be staring at me or something. It is a feeling exactly as Schulz is describing above in the second quote that I would be the center of attention.
I decided to overcome the self-consciousness which he had also referred to as self-centeredness by realizing this fact. If I am thinking so much of myself and afraid of what others might think or say when they see me at the party then the others, in fact all of them, might be having the same thoughts. Ergo what am I afraid of? They are not thinking of me but themselves. I just told myself to, " Get Over It. It is not about you".
So I sucked it up and just went. I really enjoyed myself and I am glad I went. Everyone was welcoming.
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