Wednesday, June 1, 2016

It is the event, not you

How we view things affects how we react to events in our lives.  The proverbial half full or half empty interpretation of a glass filled with water at the half way mark is a classic example of how different people view the same stimulus in front of them.  It would not matter if ones perspective had no bearing on ones life itself but fortunately or unfortunately depending on the interpretation they do affect us.

When an actor, I believe it was Tom Cruise, was asked what he feared the most at one point of his life, I remember what he said without hesitation, "failure",  For a high achiever and who could be more than Tom Cruise, failure is not an option.  There is a problem however.  When ones identity is dictated by the failure, then it becomes devastating and confidence is eroded, depression ensues.

When another actor, Drew Barrymore, who is currently undergoing a painful divorce was asked what the hardest thing was in this event in her life in an interview in one of the morning shows, she said that she felt like a failure.  After this interview, a psychologist in this show, which I forgot which one now, was asked what would she advise Drew if she could and she said what I have in the poster above.  Drew has to have a paradigm shift.  She did not fail.  The event in her life, the divorce/marriage, did, not her.  Who you are does not hinge on anything that happens to you. Things do happen, controllable or beyond control. They are not you.

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